This content was transcribed from the recording of the live workshop, provided on November 5, 2011 by Rui Gabriel.
Finally, we come to the last virus that I personally think is the most important.
The Virus of Self-Sabotage.
Surely some of you have thought or know someone who has thought “oops, but I work so much and always things turn out all wrong. I never have the chance. When the time comes something always happens that ruins everything.” How many times have you said or heard someone say that? And this is the way of life of most people. Work, work, work, chase, chase, chase and eventually something happens thats throws everything out the window. Nothing worked. And we say “I’m a wretch, I’m so unlucky nothing works out for me.” and we don’t know that the cause of all this is ourselves, through this virus of self-sabotage.
How does this virus work? It is amazing the level of destruction that has this virus has. First it appears when we are afraid of change, when we cling to what we know, to our past, to things that we control. We return to speak again of “better known evil than unknown good.” So, when our life begins to change and we start having a bit of a result, we start having people come in and begin to earn a buck, something happens that sends everything out the window, and this happens a lot in Network Marketing.
What happened? It’s self-sabotage.
We are not psychologically prepared to accept the life changes that are happening around us, with us, and so we arrange way to sabotage it. And what sabotages are these? It’s things like, for example, a headache at a crucial time where you should have gone, but got a such headache you could not move. And the headache is real, not imaginary. Or you got in the car and slammed it into a wall and scraped the whole car. The accident was real but who’s behind the curtain sabotaging your actions is you and lots of time you won’t even realise it. I say “you” but I speak for myself, in exactly the same way. All the viruses that are here are mine.
It’s amazing what happens when we are close to reaching a goal. It’s amazing the bad things that appear in front of us. You are almost reaching but wrong things start happening, things that seem to have nothing to do with you and even seem unlucky. But once you look at what is actually happening, we are the ones causing all these little things. Everything.
And sometimes these destructive attitudes are conscious, some are unconscious. I believe most of them are unconscious, but many are conscius, and if we are intellectually honest with yourself, we can identify them easely. I now have some success, I got I do not know how many people, my business is growing at a quick pace, I’m gaining balance and then, suddenly, things start to break down because I’m tired or do not feel like it, or I have to go do something else, or I have to go on vacation, or have to support the family or what ever. Normally they are always real and valid reasons, not imaginary things.
But sometimes we have diseases, stomach cramps, diarrhea that prevent us from going to a meeting or to do something that would change our lives, precisely because of this attachment to the past, the unconscious fear that we have to change our life.
So we say we want to change our life, but when the time comes, we start to see things happening and we are afraid of the unknown. So we are left with these attitudes that come from this virus of self-sabotage and this always happens with almost everyone.
What is the vaccine for this virus of self-sabotage?
The first thing we have to do is identify the sabotage.
When the time comes, and we have to do something fundamental to achieving our goal, and then something starts to go wrong, have the clarity of mind and know that it is a sabotage that we are doing to ourselves and we must find a solution to it so it doesn’t win. We must find an alternative.
The second thing to do is feel the future. We have to get used, while we are making the journey, to visualize and feel that we have achieved our goal. So if you are in Network Marketing and have a financial goal you want to achieve, you have to, every day, see yourself in that situation, feel the feelings you would feel if you were there. The sensations, the smells, the life around you, your clothes, your car, your home, your garden, or whatever. You must play this movie in your head, because it will start to make you feel more comfortable when these things really begin to happen. Because these things are not unknown to you anymore. It’s like a workout you do with a person before they go to act in a play, we have to train first, simulate. So this way of doing things, this simulation we can do ourselves, is what will give us security so the future is not something so unknown. This is what it means to feel the future. We must accept the sobotagens for what they are and move on as if they didn’t exist, because our plan is different, because we have, in our mind, our vision for our future.
The third thing we have to do is force positive action. That is, whenever something appears that we identify as sabotage, we must compensate, replace it with a positive action of equal strength, but opposite. If I’m going to a meeting and hit the car I will not give up. I’ll call the tow that will take the car home and I’ll get a taxi to the meeting. If I have a stomach ache, it’s alright, I make sure where all the bathrooms and I’m there at the time and I do my job.
This is how we overcome this virus of self-sabotage.