“When I have to choose between being right and being kind, I always choose to be kind.” – Wayne Dyer
When I was a teenager, a priest (Italian missionary named Pierino Plona) explained to me that the original sin was very ugly and very powerful. So much that was marked on our human nature and makes us very unhappy.
As I thought that original sin had something to do with sex under the image of the apple that Eve gave Adam, I was confused by the statement of the priest and asked him “after all, what is original sin?” to which he replied:
– God had forbidden Adam to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Came the serpent and convinced the woman to give this fruit to the man. He ate and was caught. Then God said to him, “Adam! you have eaten of the forbidden tree!? You disobeyed me!” – To which Adam replied: “Blame it on the woman you put here with me, she gave me some to eat.” Then God asked the woman, “Eve what did you do?” Eva then justified herself: The serpent is who convinced me.” What was the sin here that led to their being expelled from paradise? None of them took responsibility and tried to defend their ego and throw the blame on others.”
And was Pierino right or what!?
In each domestic argument between family, work, among friends and neighbors, what underlies is the “I’m right”, “he or she is being unfair,” “why are you pointing this flaw out to me?” .
And this attitude ingrained in the genes gave rise to the famous saying: “Who does not feel is not the son of good people” that justifies our idiot right to indignation with the even more stupid duty to feel outraged.
Without wanting to put more fuel to the fire, the reactions that the video by Maitê Proença caused, there were no more than that: she is guilty, I am outraged by something she did. It just means that we have a long and fun way to go as a comunity.
Another great example, also recent, happened with Saramago’s book, Cain. Suddenly the sectors linked to the Catholic Church threw themselves in an uproar condemning the book, and caused a predictable reaction by Saramagos’ advertisers. This sterile contreversy rendered Saramago the selling of 80,000 copies of the book in two weeks, more than any other book of his in a year, with the exception of “Gospel According to Jesus Christ” which used the same advertising formula and got the same kind of results in sales.
Returning to the theme, you do not have the right to indignation.
“Indignation” means “to un-dignify” and this is a right that you don’t have twards yourself nor anyone else.
In a clash of discussion you always try to undignify the other and thus you get outraged and this is not your right.
Have you thought through what would happen if instead of wanting to be right you chose to be kind?
Have you seen how this attitude of kindness would modify the connections in your brain (your chip) and make you more aware of what the other person is trying to say?
And you have seen that you could even hear him/her? And understand him/her? And do something that would “dignify” instead of “indignifing”?
And have you ever thought what it would do for yourself? For your happiness, joy and fulfillment?
I do not know about you, but I do not let myself get outraged by anyone. This is a power that no one has on me. Instead I’m kind because that is the only known way to turn stones into bread.